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21/10/12

To: Mr. Scammer on Craigslist

I recently posted an ad on craigslist to sell a sofa.  I've been getting some responses from interested buyers, including the classic scammer.


I normally ignore and report these responses, but this time I decided to respond and I'd like to share it:

His response: 
HiThanks for the response.I am willing to pay your asking price.I will pay by money order as its the only way i can pay you at the moment.I will make arrangement for the pick-up after payment have been  received by you. I dont mind adding an extra thirty dollars so you can keep it in my favor.Reply with your full name,cell phone number,and address where payment should be sent.Please take the posting off craigslist today and consider it sold to me. Expecting to hear from you soon.
Regards
C. Luis
___________________________
My last response:

Thanks for responding to my post!

How about an even better deal!
Why don't you send me your full name, cell phone number and address so I can send you the item by UPS for free.   I will throw in some pillows, curtains and my old underwear so you can keep it in my favor.

I also have some socks missing their other half; they feel pretty lonely.  To be honest, I'm concerned about the well being of these socks, I mean, they really seem sad and I believe they are showing signs of depression.  Maybe you can help me find some socks for these socks, they don't have to match, just in need of some company you know. 

The last time I checked, one of the socks had a hole.  I believe this sock passed to a better life, poor sock.  He cut himself; he just didn't want to live anymore.  That's the rumor going on in the neighborhood.

You know, I feel bad sometimes and ponder on the life of this particular sock.  It was black with yellow stripes and it was only worn with some really nice fashionable shoes, super chic shoes!.  Boy if this sock could talk!  What a life right?  I mean, think about it!  The sock went everywhere: it traveled, danced, walked on parks, it even got some massages!  Of course it had its smelly side as well, but that's how everything in life is.
Anyway, then suddenly one day, his other half went missing, and the sock had no use anymore!  Did the other sock grow tired of living a hectic life with his partner sock, did he feel attracted to another sock, did the sock leave because it wanted independence?  Or did the lost sock get kidnapped by the infamous dryer eater who consumes everything in its path?  One will never know...it is a mystery.

But what matters is, the sock left behind disappeared, the evidence is there!  The hole is as big as the toe, and you should see this toe, it is super fat and it has some fungus as well!  Poor sock, what a tragedy...


OH, and don't forget to send me your address, full name, and phone number.  We can exchange some ideas on how to cook cupcakes, how to rehabilitate depressed socks, and maybe discuss your vegetation state (I mean, I'm not a certified doctor, but I can prescribe some anti-scamming medication).  


Thanks for your business Mr. Scammer ;-)